Its been 3 weeks now on my new job. A completely different environment and different job scope. Somehow i am still unable to cope with the job yet. May be because it is a totally different thing? Or it is to much to learn? or am i giving myself lots of stress?Lately I am being very uneasy that every morning wakes up and thinking about the job.. these uneasy feelings is just so irritates. Somekind of feelings like “worry”. What am i worry about? WIll i be able to cope with it? thats what i am worrying. Though i am still learning a lot everyday. But still like so much to learn., everyone there was like so expert and i am the only which taking things slowly to understand it.
Or izzit my own requirements towards myself is high? which i wanted to learns that 2 weeks stuff within 2 days?
May be this is the transition periods of getting away from comfort zone process, where things getting tougher and tougher…. and i am draining away…..
been working long hours… everyday for sure more than 9 hours which is more than average of working hours.
Sometimes people ask me, do you enjoy your new work? how is your new job? I just cant answer them easily….. cause even me myself unable to answer it myself. If i enjoy, i won’t be having those kind of feelings…. It is very unhealthy to have that kind of mood towards work though. But that feeling comes in everyday when i wakes up, and will gone once i reaches the office and start working. Hmmm weird….
What is work life balance? This is worklife inbalance and emotional breakdown.
Lately also unable to sleep well… izzit because of stress which i am pushing myself too much? I just cant tell.
Anyhow, have to endure……… ….. … .. .
Life is not that easy though..
In working life now, kind of different than a student life. Work, back home sleep. Projects and lots of projects coming in. But still i feels that something is still missing even though i got a job with a very good employer.
Work contracts will coming to the end soon, its time decide to stay or not to stay, overall i believe i give my all and my best in the job given. Are they gonna extend my contracts? or convert me into permanent? so many questions came out.
Also got some advice from senior who is very long in my company, used to be in the same department. Well he said its better to leave and explore more on the outside world. Take the risk since i m still young. He said like him he got a family to bear, dats y cant cont to explore. He also said the company is matured enough nothing much can learn even if there are it will be a very slow place to learn. But its a good start to be in this company, yet younger people should explore more take more challenge. since ur starting company is big, your next company will be bigger.
Yes indeed of what he said is right, may be i should go out there to explore more. Or perhaps the things that is still missing will be the challenges that i want to face. Yeah he even recommend some company for me to hook into. No joke, those company are not that mature in the market yet, they are still expanding throughout Asia. May be i should look towards those company to learn more and to challenge more.
Its been quite a while since i started working. For the very first time i feel successful over something that is really small. Which is a projects that i am going on. Actually there are 3-4 projects which i need to keep track on. There is one projects which is kind of interesting, more on to exploring newer tools to find a new tools to support the services. Staring up a server as a monitoring system which is to monitor the whole network. although the system already existed in the network but, it is not that good, unable capture more information.
A server which need to be setup as the first step. Choosing an OS which is not easy task. I suggested using Back Track 5 a network spoofing OS, but after a long day of trying, actually there are lots of missing lib. Like a girl friend that us very manja. after install thins, ask for something else…. for one whole day trying to deal with it, ends up a disappointment.
Next was Ubuntu Server. Linux based, usually Ubuntu is use, but for the first time. setting up Ubuntu server, First though should be an easy job, but actually it takes 2 days, to learn all the commands in one day is impossible. But oh well, as setting up the server, the same time learn it… yes finally after 2 long days, it is up woo hoo!!!!! may b i was over excited abit, but worth my time. My new baby is born!!!
Yup i know it may not be too late for a change. the change of my appearance. Seek for advice from all over on what kind of outlook i am look better at. since i am not so into fashion kind of person. Well this piece of advice comes from one of my friend, your looks… dun need to change much.. but your attire, is so NO NO NO.. i actually got triple “NO” in a row.. =.=. What she said was true, i am very poor in choosing a nice looking shirt that suits myself. She ask me to discover a trend that i feel confident and comfortable with.. OKAY.. and guess what, i am confident and comfortable with the attire i am wearing.. and i get another NO.. =.=.
Since she knows me a a long time, she said i need to get a shirt that is fitting my body not to big. and NO NO to pants that is longer than knee level.
Yes he ask me do some home work that is browsing thru the web on mans fashion to look for a great and fit looking shirt design and pants too. This driving me nuts when i was at her place to fix her laptop and she browse thru the web showing me the mans fashion sites. She ask me with either the fashion of the pic in the site is nice or not.. and … 90% i got “NO” from her.. =.= i am that bad in choosing the right attire it seems.. ==zzzzz
Training at the park, saw this uncle playing with bubble, He is equipped with some big special stick. this stick is so awesome that it creates a chaos and attracts all the kids around him to play along with him. He is producing a gigantic bubbles!!!.
its rare to see people play with gigantic bubbles in Malaysia, its my first time though. Its big, its huge… and its fragile…. it pops when u touch it… u blow it the correct way, a smaller bubble will form within the gigantic bubble. its BUBBLECEPTION!!!
Which reminded me of a songs called Bubble pop by Hyuna… a korean singer.
Graduation day really brings back memories of times in University. It is also after a long pass day of being a working adult to felt of being back a student for that moment. All course-mates gather around gossiping each other, update each other with their current status etc etc.. Last time meeting the lecturer as a person who are older than us and will call them sir/mdm/miss. As for now, meeting are like meeting a friend and even talk like one too. Its totally a different identity from a students. May be its because of working environment or that we are keep on growing up.
Thinking back, since the last examination and until today, i have meet lots of different people, different environment and with more and even more knowledge to be grabbed not forgetting experience!!!
A very patients person that’s me but to some extend. Or i can say i have limitless patients but not during when i am sick patient become limited. This is whats i actually discover recently. Having a friend of mine asking me to play some stuff during i was sick, well first thought was “yeah ok”. for a while gv up on the game since was off mood and requesting to withdraw from the game. Guess what, ignoring my request and continuously asking for it… harsh words seems to be coming from me. Having instability of emotion. Or may be he should have realize that i am off mood. Still wonders why he still acting like there’s nothing wrong.. hmm.. may be i have nvr goes beyond my patients towards anyone i guess. To see me off patients is a very.. extremely rare case. Some friends even think that i hv some problem because of not getting angry?? perhaps .
Another time that i lose my patient was on NIKE run 2012 where i was going to retrieve back my luggage but them without any systematical way of returning out bag , but by calling and shouting the tag number on our bag .. anyone’s bag with the tag will be throw at them.. damn,,,, anyhow some harsh words coming from me too during those time. Yeah i understand there are alot of people and become a big crowds but at least return it a proper way. Another case was when they are shouting the tag number on the bag, damn that guy is seriously… kena shoot by me. “Hey Bugger, you girl ar? scream louder la.. you think people at the back can hear you?” actually i was about to volunteer myself to help them.. but too bad…. their character and behavior.. causing me not to help them anymore. Well was not really that lucky though, only towards the end i receive my bag. hmm.. for 3 hours of waiting for them to get my bag, it was also after a long 10km run. Want to go back to rest also can’t thanks to their system. so call lucky draw system… Funny thing was my close friend who was fetching me was in shock of his life. Why? he seeing me cursing all the way back until i reach home. he said he never c me lose patient before since the first day he knows me.
so a friendly reminder…. don’t f* with me when i m sick or not feeling well…. =P
Kidding ny la… you may still do but make sure i am still under control…